DH hardly said a word until the end when it was just us left with the social worker... she had told us children can be taken from a filthy house - so we asked for a definition of filthy -she said animal feces laying around, black water in the tub, unsanitary conditions, etc... so we were like clean but clutter is ok then, and she said as long as their wasn't mouse droppings...DH piped up that the table usually has books on it - I said because we homeschool- and she said her own table was her "dumping" ground as soon as she walks into her home so she understands.
She did say they will ask my 5 year old to give a tour of the house and then question him alone on whether he has been told anything about the adoption and what he thinks about it and what kinds of things he considers fun stuff we do as a family, etc. She said the social worker will tell us everything they asked and everything the child said and if the child is too shy to be alone with them, then we can be in the same room, just a distance away.
We have to have a 5 lb fire extinguisher, several smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, emergency contant numbers posted and an emergency escape plan posted. We also have to be yearly CPR and 1st Aid certified and we have to have 3 home visits to do all the paperwork - includes 5 references and church reference, medical, financial, criminal, relational backgrounds.
We also have to attend 10 weeks of classes that are 3 hours long and in the evening and then after that 2 saturday classes that are 6 hours long.
DH is in training now but by then will be considered on call - if he don't get there, he loses his job...and/or he might be laid off.
And in order to open our home to a child in the age range we are comfortable with at this time, we would most likely have to start with foster to adopt.
The other option is the private infant adoption and she said it was about $10,000 but we aren't required to take classes that way. Or if we knew a family member that needed to be adopted we could cut out some of the classes.
On the way home I was telling DH there is a tax thing of exactly $10,000 so if we got a grant and borrowed the rest we could pay it back right away. or if we knew 10 people that would loan us $1,000 we could pay them back right away.
Dh says if he had $10,000 he'd help a friend out who needs a lawyer...I said that really hurts.
DH says he doesn't understand why my Lord won't just give me another child. And that he totally agrees with open adoption and so what if the child only loves his real mother...I don't know, if they have contact and yet a child lives in our house will we hear, "I don't have to listen to/mind you, you're not my real parents..." KWIM
I said maybe the Lord just wanted us to be obedient and at least inquire about adoption.
DH says we should buy a house first- but we've been married almost 7 years and are not home owners yet and should DH get laid off, probably won't be anytime soon. He also would want to wait til he finds out what is going on with his job. And I respect his point of view.
Our son will be 6 this summer...We really wanted him to have a sibling(s) by now.
I know you're saying what is one more year...but it feels like a very long time and unless you've been where we are, you have no idea and please don't compare this to whatever.... They are not the same.
I've been told to bind the Lord to HIS Word and HIS Word is in favor of children...so if HE knows we can't adopt now or maybe not ever, why won't HE just heal me and cause me to be fertile and have the ability to conceive whenever. I know that should I be able to conceive at anytime, then all of this heartache I have been experiencing would have never occured.
Again your prayers are appreciated.
DS really wants to be a big brother because:
He prays and asks Yeshua just about daily when his brother and sister are going to be here.
When he plays with his action figures he plays with 4 at a time and when asked why he replies they each have a little brother.
He had to have a bunk bed last summer. When asked why he replied his little brother will need somewhere to sleep.
Won't you agree in prayer with our 5 year old? We thank you.
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