BabyWise Tales

With my first son, I read On Becoming BabyWise. More like skimmed and only retained that the order of events should be eat, play, then sleep. With this son, that routine worked perfectly. I did not watch a clock nor did I have a rigid schedule. On his own, this son would wake every 3 hours to eat, "play", and then nap during the day and at night would just wake long enough to eat and then would go right back to sleep. It was glorious getting 2 hour stretches of sleep during the night until morning. As he aged, he slept longer stretches at night and did not wake to eat. I think he would have slept 12 hrs sooner if he had his own room sooner, but at the time his dad and I only had a room we all shared. When first son was 5.5 months old he finally got his own room and slept 12 hrs straight all the time after that.

As far as daytime naps went, I enjoyed the fact that he would sleep anywhere thus allowing us to not be trapped at home. And for night time sleep he only needed his pacifier and to be swayed a few minutes and would fall fast asleep using the arm flop test to be sure. Then he could be lain in his crib and would not wake up until morning.

When he was 22 months old, we went on a 3 week trip away from home and after that he wouldn't sleep in his crib anymore but would sleep in his parents room on his own mattress then toddler bed. I did not mind this, I could lean over and rub his back until he fell asleep and we would all sleep all night. When he did transition to sleeping in his own room again, I would stay in the room with him until he fell asleep. Again, I did not mind this routine.

He had a night light that took 25 watt bulbs and I would put the colored party bulbs in so sometimes he would have a red or blue or green light on in his room. When he was an infant this light allowed me to peak in on him and make sure he was ok. As he grew this light let him be able to see when he woke and needed to make his way to the bathroom during the potty training time. And provided some type of secure comfort until he was 8 and decided he was big enough to sleep without it.

Enter son #2...tried to stick with an eat, stay awake, fall asleep pattern and he would sometimes stick with the eating upon waking but then he would only take at most 20 minute naps and only if held so he was constantly eating and at the end of the day his total amount of sleep was nowhere near the recommended amount for his age range.

Day 1 until 3 weeks old he would only sleep if held, day or night. Around week #3 he would stay asleep in the rock n play over night, with plenty of wake ups to eat of course.

During those first couple of weeks I got the kindle version of On Becoming BabyWise and read the book again. I also read The Baby Sleep Solution (12 hrs sleep by 12wks) and what I like about her book is the step by step approach to get to the desired result. The Ezzo's book shows a 2.5-3hr schedule going from nine feed/wake/sleep cycles down to four by the age of 12 months, but doesn't give times of day for example of what a baby of a certain week of age might be able to do. So at age 16+ weeks when I decided I had had enough of baby#2 having no schedule and eating all the time and barely sleeping, I was at a loss at to know how to even try to schedule his day.

I knew it had to start with making him take full feedings and stop grazing around the clock. His constant grazing makes it hard to even leave the house with him because with pumped milk I have no idea how much to bring since he is just constantly eating. Even though he is so not a newborn, I went with the "nicer" 2.5 hr stretch between meals to begin with. The goal would be 3 hrs and then from there up to the 4 hr mark hopefully by toddlerhood. The other nice thing about full feedings during the day is ensuring he gets his calories during the day and to stop grazing all night. Even the Ezzo's state a baby of 5 weeks (not a preemie) should be able to sleep 5hrs straight at night...baby#2 has rarely gone even one 3 hr stretch and he is 20.5 weeks old...exhausting. I don't mind night time feeding, but they need to be at spaced intervals not sporadic and with pumping milk this baby has caused me to sleep through my alarm to wake up and relieve the chest when I finally do fall asleep between his sporadic grazing. (it takes me a long time to go back to sleep each time I'm awakened)

During baby#2's 18th week he decided he no longer was content to be swaddled, turned on his side, with pacifier, and held in order to nap. He fussed so much that I tried just putting him in his crib with blanket, pacifier, and sound machine on. It took him about 5-15 minutes of fussing and replacing pacifier but then he drifted off to sleep.  Some naps are only 20 minutes still but occasionally he will surprise me with a 60-90-120 minute nap. At this point he still would sleep at night in the rock n play which I loved because when he ate he was in an upright position and would drift back to sleep (usually there was in the beginning and occasionally even now, nights when he thinks he needs to stay awake 2-4 hours during the night).

By week #19 he decided he wanted to 5-15 minutes fuss it out and sleep in his crib at night also. I read that other babywise moms leave their babies in their beds for night feedings and since baby#2 has a crib wedge, he is not flat so I feed him in his bed also. Most of the time he falls asleep while eating like he did in the rock n play...and occasionally has decided he would like to stay awake and fuss for several hours but it is night time not daytime so he can just fuss in his crib.

Baby#2 is still a work in progress. He has a hard time even going 2.5 hrs between meals and still thinks he needs to "cluster feed" before bed (why I don't know, it is not like he sleeps a long stretch). He still wakes several times (4-6) at night to eat.  And I don't really like that he thinks he needs to nap in his crib...that means better be home at naptime or no fun for anyone within earshot.